Figuring it out

Lately, I have been trying to figure out what drives me, what I’m passionate about, what I love and do as easily as breathing. I know I am a creative 1. Because I believe everyone is. Creativity is energy. And anyone and everyone can tap into it. And 2. Because I’ve created before I know I can again. I’ve kinda hit a rut, I guess. Ever since I’ve had my daughter creating seems like a struggle. It gives me anxiety. I procrastinate in doing it. It stresses me out I tell myself I don’t feel inspired and without that feeling whatever I do create won’t be that great. I think too much and then end up not creating at all. But sometimes there’s this fire in me that flickers a little and I know it’s still alive.

So, when I talked to one of my closest friends a couple weeks about what it is I wanna do with my life and what kinda impact I want to have. I started getting serious asking myself well what do I want to create and what do I want it to stand for and what do I want it to do for others and for myself. Cause creating really is a service.

And other than poetry and writing what is it that moves me. And it occurred to me that music moves me in ways that nothing else can. From a young age it’s been my thing. From singing in church choirs to singing in school chorus. Taking piano lessons and quitting it all. Music has always been the thing that moves my emotions and gets me feeling.

I remember being in high school feeling down about my looks not being secure in myself yet. I was so anti. I’d sit in my room after school everyday and listen to my radio. And I’d play Prince or Tupac my eyes closed and daydreaming. I’d fall asleep every night with my radio turned to v103s quit storm to keep the nightmares I’d have at bay (I’ve always had crazy vivid dreams that scared me that I’ve now learned to live with).

I guess what I’m trying to say is I think music is that thing for me I don’t know how or what to do with music. I know I don’t want to be a singer or rapper or performer. I take pride in these playlists I make every month. So, maybe something in that direction maybe making mixes. Maybe djing who knows honestly what I wanna do with my life changes so frequently (guess that’s the Gemini in me) something new always seems so exciting to me. But honestly music has always been with me.

I’m not sure what I mean to say here maybe nothing. But like if you know you’re destined for something and you’re unsure of what that something is this stage is okay too. Try a lot of shit out whatever interests you just try it and see what happens.

Advertisements

March Playlist

Hey y’all,

Back with another playlist and I really like this one. I know I like them all since I make them but this one is really bomb. It’s like relaxed chill music with a few turnt songs sprinkled in. And it’s March so in Atl that means the weather it’s about to improve and get real sunny and warm by the end of the month. I’m so ready. Enjoy this playlist see everyone soon!

☘️🍀 March Madness 🍀🍀

photo is from @geraldlovell on Instagram who is an artist based in Atlanta.

February Playlist

I did a sort of themed playlist for the month and it’s titled Funky February. I know it’s kinda cheesy but it got me listening to newer songs instead of just artists I’m familiar with. I actually really like this playlist. It’s fun and after how long and transformative January was I need fun. I’ve put it on so many times the past weeks and just had a solo dance party in my underwear. So, if you like r&b and want to listen to some new finds then check this playlist out. Funk 🌈⚡️🦄💃🏿🍄🍹☮️

January Playlist

It’s 2019 you guys and I always get all psyched at the start of a year. A lot of the songs on this playlist are emotionally charged. I actually really like music that has a lot of emotion but being such an emotional person hip hop is like the much needed distraction I need from my feels and thoughts. But it’s nice. It’s reflective which I think is needed at the end/beginning of a new year.

I had a new idea for the direction I want to take this blog back in December. I do want to continue to write about motherhood and things pertaining to it. However, I want to write less about spiritual things just cause I feel like I’ve been really wrapped up in my spirituality and defining it for the last couple of years and in some ways I feel a little disappointed by current events in my life and need to take a step back and reevaluate my spirituality.

So, this blog is about to turn to some of my other interests mainly music, art (in all forms TV, film, writing, painting, album reviews, movie reviews, restaurant reviews) and social issues that I’m very passionate about. There are going to be reviews on art shows and gallery openings going on in Atlanta. Part of this is to work on one of my goals which is my social life. As a mom I don’t have a huge social life and I want to get out more and meet more people and extend my tribe. So, the content might be changing a little but I hope you all will like the change.

I hope ya’ll like this new playlist and I hope everyone is planning out their goals and making changes to live the life they really want to love.

January Playlist

Art work from one of my favorites @serpentfire on Instagram.

December Playlist

Hey y’all,

This months playlist is all my favs from this year. So, it’s some older 2018 songs and some that just came out that I’ve had on repeat.

Can’t believe it’s December again already. And in 28 days it’ll be a new year. What are some goals or intentions you want to focus on for the new year?

I’m writing, planning and setting my intentions this week. And might have a post on intention setting and manifesting some point in this month.

Hope everyone has a purposeful and eye opening last month of 2018!

December Playlist

here’s a video of me listening to Summer Walker’s “Smartwater” if you don’t listen to her you should!

November Playlist

I know I said last month I wasn’t going to make a playlist for Novemeber because they take a lot of work (I like the vibe to be just right) but I made a playlist for this month anyway and its all my favorite throwback songs from middle school and older. So, Brittany Spears, nsync, Christina Aguilera, Sisco, B2k. You guys know. Back when music was really fun. I’ve just been feeling really nostalgic lately. Time is moving really fast it seems. I can’t believe its already holiday season again. Every year seeing how much Sage is growing just reminds me that I’m getting older. Things are changing. I’m no longer in my early 20s and the 90s was almost 30 years ago. It honestly makes me so sad and anxious for what’s next. But I’m trying my hardest to just take it easy and reminisce without getting stuck. Celebrate my age and the things that made me happy in childhood.

So, yeah check out the Novemeber playlist and ill have a playlist in December which will be all my favorite bops from 2018.

November Playlist

november playlist

And in honor of me feelin so nostalgic here’s a throwback flash too bright photo of me and my mom from 1995.